Habits

Here it is, one month into my challenge, and I haven’t gotten it yet. I started off well enough, resolving to change, making little changes along the way, but more often than not, I’m still relying on excuses and not placing the responsibility where it belongs: on myself. The reason for the change in posting photos of myself was due more to my reluctance to make the time to take them. This past weekend, not only did I not take my monthly photos, I also forgot to take any measurements at all, either on the scale or with the tape measure. This did not occur to me until this morning, when my mind turned to what I would be eating for lunch. For a moment, I told myself, well, I’ll just delete this whole blog and just start from scratch. Then I thought about it – what a better way to show how difficult this is than to admit to my falls off the wagon and show myself and anyone else following along how close I came to giving up. Once my goal is reached, I’ll be able to look back and see how far I’ve come.

When I came up with the idea for this blog, I decided that no matter what happened, I would push through all the bad times because I REFUSE TO LIVE THIS WAY ANYMORE. There’s really all there is to it. I must make myself see that I will make mistakes, but I cannot fail if I refuse to give up. A mistake is just an effect, without a positive or negative label. If I do not like the effect I’m getting, it is up to me to change the cause that created it.

I think one point of misguidance I’ve given myself is to look too far ahead and say, “I’m going to eat X and exercise Y all week this week”. I need to narrow my focus and deal with the moment I’m living in, rather than TRY for some nonexistent future moment.